27 What is expected of me 2
Being skeptical had become second nature to Lazar, he had lost the ability to blindly believe in someone or something at the death of his grandfather. This event had made him realize that regardless of the confidence we have in a person, we must never exclude the possibility that he may betray us one day. After all, harming is only one reason among many others for which one is able to betray, it happens that a person betrays another considering that she does it for his own good.
It's precisely for this reason that Lazar didn't give full confidence to Lana. When he got to know her, he quickly understood that he could never be completely honest with her if he wanted to achieve his revenge in the future. He knew perfectly that if she was aware of what he really intended to do with his life she would have tried everything to prevent it. Lana had always let him make his choices while trying to influence him as little as possible, but a choice like this... No good mother would let her son take such a path.
With a state of mind like his, it's not surprising that spirituality had no place in his life. He was far too pragmatic to believe in any religion and he found that people who thought their lives were ruled by fate to be idiots. Until recently, he was still convinced that the life of each human being was defined only by the advantages and disadvantages they received at birth, their living environment, their will, and the choices they make as they grow older, nothing else.
Suffice to say that he found this way of seeing things very simplistic after he learned of the existence of the gods and that he met his entity. His skepticism was always there, he couldn't change overnight, however, he was fully aware that he had to think differently if he wanted to survive in this new world.
This duality made Amandla's case all the more difficult to manage, she was a source of additional questions and although she had saved him, Lazar couldn't bring himself to believe that she was telling him the pure truth. Despite the distrust he had towards her, that didn't stop him from having esteem for her. Amandla had shown him that she was strong, intelligent, competent and she seemed to be the kind of person with whom he could have a discussion that he didn't want to end as quickly as possible. The least he can do was pretend to completely believe her, "You said the two talking to us are related, so I guess you know who they are, right?"
Amandla's eyes widened as if she expected him to tell her something else, she was visibly surprised that Lazar didn't question what she had just said. So she didn't hesitate to talk about this somewhat problematic subject... "Indeed, I know who they are but I can't tell you. Reaching level 10 is an essential prerequisite for you to obtain this kind of information."
"I can't be satisfied of such an excuse." Lazar replied dryly.
"Don't take it that way, moreover I don't think I'm wrong saying that you value evidence much more than the words of a stranger in any case." Amandla's words were soothing but Lazar saw well by her frowned brows and her hands that she had just wedged on her hips that she was subtly showing him that she wouldn't let him continue to intimidate her for very long, "Just know that what you seek to know on this point, you can only discover it by yourself and you only, they put the means so that I shut my mouth on this subject."
"What do you mean by that?" Asked Lazar since the last part of Amandla's sentence was quite strange.
"Just look carefully at my mouth and you will understand," Amandla approached Lazar a little more because the fireplace didn't permit him to be able to see her well. Then she began to speak, at least she was trying... her lips were moving but no sound came out of it. Lazar realized that somehow she was silenced because she was articulating far too naturally for him to think that she was pretending to be mute.
"You can stop, I know you're not tricking me."Lazar remained silent for a few seconds thinking intensely about an alternative, "If they took the trouble to silence you so radically there isn't even a point to think more, I'm fucked. They would be stupid if you could get around your restriction by writing what you know on a piece of paper."
"I had some time to kill after you fell asleep last night, I have made experiences including this one. The sheet of paper caught fire as soon as..." Without wanting to, she had installed discomfort again. She only realized it when she saw that Lazar was looking at her with disappointment and was making the motion of a 'no' with his head.
"That's good, at least you ended up assuming your... immoral inclinations. What is it like to be a disgusting person?"
"...Fuck you." She replied annoyingly while giving him a middle finger because she understood what he was referring to.
"Well... Now that this issue is settled, let's come to the real deal, what do you all want from me?"
Amandla's tone became more serious, "For the guy in your head, I know you're not going to believe me but I don't know what he wants from you at all. I also don't know what we want from me so don't take this for an injustice."
'It's believable when I think back to the conversation with my entity, he was very elusive.' "I can believe that... and you then, what are your motivations for coming here?"
She could keep a relaxed expression on the front but in reality, Amandla was very anxious because a categorical 'no' to what she was going to ask Lazar wasn't an option, "If I have come all the way from New York to see you it's because I had no choice, I want us to ally."